Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Osama's in the Cellar

A few years ago I decided to play a trick on my kids.

I told them that I had captured Osama bin Laden and locked him in the cellar.

(The cellar was really empty)

All they had to do was to make sure he didn't get out, until I got home from work.

I arrived home at about 5:30, opened the cellar, and no Osama. I asked the kids what happened.

First they told me that there had been a 40 minute shootout and that Osama used his wife as a human shield.

Then they admitted that he didn't really use his wife as a human shield and that Osama was unarmed but they shot and killed him anyway.

I said:

"The one person that knows the most about terror operations in the whole world is unarmed and you shoot and kill him?"

"That's crazy, just think of all the information the military could have extracted from him!"

"I hope the president doesn't find out about this!"

"Ok, you shot and killed an unarmed Osama, where is the body?"

They told me that they buried him at sea, in accordance with normal Islamic burial rituals.

I said:

"You dumb-asses!"

"That's only if they die at sea!"

Then I asked them if there were any witnesses.

They said:

"There were, but they just happened to all get blown up on an old national guard helicopter."

After letting them sweat for a few minutes, I told them that Osama bin Laden was never in our cellar.

They said:

"Thank God!"

"That story we made up had so many holes in it, only a moron would believe it."

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