Friday, September 16, 2011

Flatulence Tax

I have an idea for a flatulence tax, a fart tax, if you will.

Whenever you fart, you can buy a fart offset from my company "Fart-X".

My normally gassy friends and I will refrain from passing gas anytime someone buys a fart offset.

For your continence, instead of having to buy fart offsets, there will be a fart tax added to everything you buy and paid directly to my company "Fart-X".

So go ahead and fart, and feel good about it.

Disclaimer - Fart-X (Ftx) is in no way associated with Al Gore, Occidental Petroleum Corporation (Oxy), climate-gate or the Carbon tax scam.


Heff said...

No taxation without representation !


texlahoma said...

Heff - I'm afraid I might have to use a cork to live up to my end of the deal.

Reminds me of an old joke punch line:

"The last thing I saw was that monkey trying to put the cork back in!"

Mr. Shife said...

What happens when I go to fart but I shit myself? Do I have to pay extra if I shart? I am down with this idea only if politicians have to pay a bull shit tax. Someone needs to invent a BS measuring device, and if they blow past a certain level then they have to pay us.

texlahoma said...

Mr. Shife - No shit tax, too tangible. I thought I'd try the same thing Al Gore did. He used a graph and pics of poor old polar bears. I could use a graph and pics of dogs suffering from farts, their noses are 1000 times stronger than humans after all.

If you can get a BS meter working about 98% of politicians would have to pay us.

diane said...

This post is hilarious!

Your header is amazingly beautiful btw.

Ted Amadeus said...

This is fkn AWESOME! We need the Bullshit Tax too. With any luck at all, Gump & the Fried Earth Club'll be bankrupt in no time after it's implemented.

texlahoma said...

Diane - I wish I had taken that header pic, but I didn't.

Ted - Mr. Shife had a good idea with the Bullshit tax. Now if we could figure out a way to implement it.
Most politicians would naturally be against it though.

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