Top 3 mistakes of potential employees

#1 Urine not warm enough. Always make sure the "clean" urine that you bring in is warm enough. Put the urine on your dash, set the heater to defrost and by the time you get there, your urine should be nice and warm.

#2 Not covering your tatts. Cover up tattoos, especially ones that might show a negative attitude toward authority figures. Like a guy screwing the eye socket of a cop. With a caption "Why, yes officer, I was wondering why you pulled me over!"

#3 Being too honest. On reasons for leaving last job, don't put "My employer finally pushed me too far, then I couldn't work, was in jail for assault." or "Got caught having sex with my bosses wife, who is also my sister."