Adams Family Thanksgiving

[as an Indian, ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving play]

Wednesday: Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.

Amanda: Gary, she's changing the lines.

Wednesday: And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.